Our lives right now are either full of negative stories (if you watch too much news or Facebook feeds them to you) or way too many positive memes and affirmations (again usually Facebook feeds them to you or if you follow people on social media.)
I came to realise that it's just way too much for me - other people dictating the terms of what my life should be or what I should do to be happy or healthy. Please, know that whatever I write here it's just me, it's not to judge or complain, it's just little self-reflection because I am also part of that "social media circus". I am also guilty of telling people through my posts on Facebook and Insta how they should live and what's good for them and what not and I think I am converting myself out of it. I don't really know exactly how but I am setting up an intention for it.
Here are my thoughts. I love learning from various books and teachers and explore their theories and their wisdom and their knowledge and I also love to be empowered and inspired by many people on social media through their blogs and memes. I just have to be careful and realise that they are not rules set in stone that would 100% work for me if I follow them all. They can't be as they did not come from within me, but only from outside of me.
So what I am now committing to doing is to set my own terms and conditions for everything in my life and yes I can get inspired or guided by others in the process but unless I run it through my "within", through my heart and through my body and get my own response, I will do my best not to adapt it and not allow it to become "my religion" to follow. It's a big task for me.
We are all so different, so unique and we deserve to create our own delicious definitions and set our own terms for just about anything in our lives. I don't want anymore for others to tell me what my self-love for me should look like or what it means to live a meaningful life. I know others will always be judging me and comparing me to their own definitions and their terms, but that's just part of the whole process I need to learn to accept. I guess I need to learn not to care about it anymore. And mainly I need to learn not to judge myself by their definitions and by their terms. [God help me as this is the hardest part for me.]
I just want to own my life, I want my life to be mine. I want to define my own definition of what relaxation means to me, of what love means to me, of what a successful life means to me...cause only then I will allow others to do the same and I stop judging them but mainly I stop judging myself and comparing myself to others all the time. And I also want to teach my kids how to do it responsibly, gracefully and kindly for themselves.
This is also my public apology trying to persuade you that there are only so many right ways to take care of yourselves or to meditate or to heal. There is unlimited amount of ways for everything and if you just allow yourself to be creative and to honour yourself and your body, your mind and your soul, I trust that you will totally find your own way, your own definition, your own medicine, your own terms. And I also trust that we don't need to become arrogant to do so, that we can do it organically and yes kindly, gracefully and lovingly.
For me, I am learning to listen to my body - I just ask my body - is this good for me or not, is this right decision or not ...and my body tells me each and every time. If it feels light in my body I know it's GREEN, it's a GO and if it feels heavy and yucky, stagnant, it's a RED, it's a NO GO. I also focus on bringing everything into my heart now and giving myself enough time to feel it properly, it's not a very quick fix or quick process, but so so worthy. I am enjoying getting to know my heart again. And I love journaling and writing things down so I am writing down my own terms and definitions of what's important for me.
Some examples would be:
What's my definition and my terms for my self-love ? How do I know for myself that I love myself unconditionally ?
What's my definition of a meaningful life?
What's my definition of being a good mother / parent?
What's my definition of health?
What's my definition of happiness ?
What's my definition of truth?
I guess the only catch in this is that you need to allow yourself to only "judge/evaluate your progress" by your own definitions and your own terms and not care about what others think of you. You also need to be fully in it and accept any and all consequences that might arise from your own terms and your own definitions. This part can be tricky.
I believe there is also no need to over-do it. Maybe one definition or one set of your own terms a week/ a month. It's a process, savour it.
Beautiful souls, enjoy creating your own delicious definitions and your own divine terms and live your own life the way you want it. I pray that you be brave and courageous to try, if you feel called, cause it's also OK not to do so.